Assistant Manager

Yesterday, Jake talked to me and said that he may be making me the Assistant Manager. Wow! Doesn't that sound like a promotion! Well, of course i am interested. I did not plan for a career in retail before i came here. But i would certainly not reject such an opportunity that the universe presents to me. Jake said that we will talk again in a few weeks time. Let's see what unfolds...

He don't know what he wants...

Today, Huey and i talked. We talked about him not finding a job... He doesn't know what he wants to do... He doesn't feel confident in getting an IT job again. But he doesn't know what else he can do either.

I think he is not trying hard enough. And not being flexible enough. I offer options such as working as a student helper in the college library, or college shop... (i don't know if i still want to continue a course in the college). Or work as a delivery driver for the pizza shop... (the money is not worth the petrol). Velu offered to connect him to his IT friends... (I am not confident to work in IT)

Excuses and excuses. He is full of reasons when he comes to his excuses. I am really coming to my wit's end and it is making me frustrated too. Sometimes he is so negative that it is draining me. I told him that. And he said, i should change the feeling! Oh, so it becomes my fault now that he is draining me... What the!

Sometimes, i wish he would go back to Singapore, so that he can give me some space. Well, if he is not using his time constructively here, then maybe Singapore is where he can get on with his life. I should let him go...

But the only concern is what will come out of our marriage...

Maz says some students in nature care end up in divorces and separations...

I think if we both growing and evolving in different ways, then there may come a time for us to part, so that it is better for us both.

Sam got his driving license

Yes! Sam has passed his driving test on his first attempt. Yeah! so exciting...

I hope he would have new luck in his job hunting and get a better job soon. Oh divine, please give him a better paying and stable job, so that we can settle down better in Sydney.

9 months in Sydney

It's been 9 months since i moved to Sydney and since i last posted. In retrospect, i must say that life has been exciting and fruitful for the past 9 months. Most likely, Sam will not agree. After all, i am the one who has all the challenges.

2 terms into my Shiatsu diploma and still exciting over all the new things i learn day to day...

6 months into my job at the Discount Vitamins and enjoying a healthily nourishing relationship with my colleagues and employers...

2 modules into my Bowen certificate and filled with awe...

Most importantly, i feel that i am growing spiritually (though i am not conscientious with my meditation lately :p).

I must say that the Divine has been guiding me well. :)

I certainly hope that all will be well for Sam too and that this would be a fruitful journey of his life.

No coincidences

All things happen for a reason. There are lessons to be learnt.

I have always wanted to become a nurse since young. It was my childhood dream that surprising lasted till my teens. Perhaps i had a contract to serve mankind.

But at age 19-21, i was struck with rheumatoid arthritis. What was the meaning to this illness. It was trying to stop me from becoming a nurse. During the illness, i suffered the evils of contemporary western medicine. But was subsequently cured by "healer" who used diet and other alternative ways of healing.

What was the meaning of this? Is it showing the way that i should go? That i should explore modalities of natural healing and to become a healer rather than a nurse?

Only this interpretation makes my illness meaningful.

New life, new challenges

I have not been blogging for a long time, since my resignation.

I supposed that must be quite a big decision of my life, and after i have made that decision, i have no more grouses. :)

Well, one month after my resignation, i left my job. And did some administrative work for an adventure travel company. Also joined their community service project to Guizhou for once-again another eye opener.

After i returned, i was informed that they have gotten a replacement and i am jobless (again). I must admit that i was quite scared then. No job! Oh no, no income!!!

But the next day, we got our visa approvals from australia. So we are on our way to australia.

Lots of things happening after that. Huey Siang went for the Reiki I course and i went through the Reiki II course. Then as i was debating within myself whether to take up nursing or natural therapy, some answer came and i overcame my fear and became more affirmative that i should do natural therapy.

So i am now all excited yet apprehensive about our new life in Sydney.

Well, i seek to service the highest good of all concerned. So please show me the way, divine.

Resignation

I have to assure that this is not an impulsive decision. I have pondered upon this for several months before i drafted the resignation letter. Even at the point of sending the email, i had to muster a lot of courage to click on the Send button. Leaving this job would mean a lot of sacrifices - a cushy job, a good monthly salary, my current lifestyle, and most importantly, my house and thus my freedom and privacy.

But i cannot bear to bind myself to IT for the rest of my life. I cannot visualise myself 5 to 10 years down the road, still hunching over the computer and suffering poor eyesight and RSI.

Life is short and unpredictable. I am 30 years old today. Anita Mui died at the age 40, and Princess Diana at 36. Our dear friend Gerard was less than 30 when he left us. One can never be too pessismistic when it comes to counting your living years. I may live longer than them, but how can you be sure? If i walked out now and get run down by a car, my biggest regret will be "Why did i spend the last few months of my life working on a mammoth cv project?".

We lived in a world of technology. But on the other side of the world, there lived lots of people who do not have such gadgets and gizmos and are yet happier. People who don't know who is Bill Gates and do not care if Microsoft or Sun is better. They are simply overjoyed with a mere torchlight that will light up their way at night.

I only have one life this lifetime. So i should give it a second chance. The second chance to see the world and to really live my life. I have chosen to take the unbeaten route. It will definitely be harder than now. But if you shield the canyon from the wind, you will never see the beautiful carvings.

Give me all your blessings, i need lots of it.

Lastly, do not let work and money-making overwhelm you to a point where you forget to be human to each other. And don't forget that technology is supposed to work for us, not work us.

Afraid of death

The recent deaths of Anita Mui and Ke Shou Liang seemed to have shakened my friend a little.

I asked her if she is afraid of death, when it comes to her or her loved ones.

Her answer (through yahoo messenger) was so terrifield that i can almost feel her fear though a thousand miles apart.

She was very afraid of losing her loved ones. She would cry. And there will be pain in her heart. But she is even more afraid of her own death. She is afraid of pain.

I told her that since we are buddhist and we already know that death is inevitable. Then we should be preparing ourselves mentally for it.

But she is still terrified.

All i could do is to calm her by telling her that it's alright to be afraid, and to cry.

But i am surprised. Or maybe i am too numb after reading all these death and dying books.

Honestly i don't know how i would react if it's me.

But i really hope to explore the death process in a calm manner.

Maybe i should start volunteering at the Dover Park Hospice.